The Phone Call

You guessed it... I received it...Again. Last Wednesday.

I'm not sure if the quote "That which does not kill us only makes us stronger." is Biblical (I don't think it is) BUT I strongly agree with it and think of it often as a comforting quote. IF it's true, according to God, then I'm guessing God wants me to be rock solid... maybe.

I lost my mom 10 and a half years ago unexpectedly to suicide. I lost my dad this week, unexpectedly, to a heart attack. She was 44, as was her mother when she died of metastisized breast cancer. He was 55, not overweight, ate healthy, USED TO BE a weight-trainer but at least exercised through manual labor several times a month.

I'm sure you can understand the pain and loss, the lonely moments ahead, the pain when I look at my boys that they have no maternal grandparents but... I know... God will provide. He is a God of provision, of love, of mercy. He loves me. He loves them.

I have been blessed through this mourning process... through my father's death... in silly ways, in ways where He has given me great strength, wisdom and clarity. He wants me to know what my needs are and will be. For that, I am thankful.

I will miss my dad. I will miss my boys' Papa. Hunter is definitely processing it. I wonder if he understands that he will never see him again (on this side). Colten is too young to remember or understand.

I have been blessed, at least, with a magnificent husband who loves me and nurtures me beyond words. God has PROVIDED friendships and sisters (in Christ) who substitute as family and love me more than I have known (aside from my husband). I am overwhelmed by their support, encouragement and genuine love. [Thank you for providing, Father.]

I wrote a Eulogy for my Father...